Your self-perception goes a long way into shaping the way your life turns out to be. There have been times in my life, when I dared reach higher than my mind said I was. I knew it was a good place to be, but I kept doubting my ability to function on a higher realm. God had placed me on a platform which embodied the things I was looking for, but my testimony of whom I was clouded my joy with worries and anxiety, so that I couldn’t fully appreciate the thing God was doing in my life. Perhaps I’m the only one who lets what situations testify of me, what people testify of me, what fear and doubt testify of me, what regrets, and past mistakes testify of me, determine what I testify of myself and how I act on it. But something tells me, that there are a lot of you out there who are familiar with this tale, and we wish it was only but a tale, but its reality dawns as we take a closer look at our lives.

There is someone whom I find fascinating; His name is Saul… wait, Paul. (Acts 9:1-42) Before He met with the Lord on the way to Damascus, Saul was a man filled with rage, he threatened and slaughtered Christians all over Jerusalem. He thought he was doing God a service, because he believed the Christians were deceitful and Christ was a lie. The testimony about him was that of a “murderer, persecutor, sinner”, etc. But if you carefully read along the verses, verse 3 details his meeting with Jesus. what happened at this encounter changed Saul’s life forever. The glory of the Lord shone upon all the darkness in his world, it blinded him to the way he saw himself, it blinded him to the chaos around him, it blinded him to the way people saw him, so that all he could see was the light, and all his mind could fathom was the encounter he had with Christ, and all his ear could hear was the voice of Jesus giving him directions. I strongly believe God wants to have an encounter with you today, all you need to do is let the light of the truth of what he says about you shine upon you. Let Gods testimony of you, deafen your ears to every lie that had kept you bound.

And after the encounter what happened? God didn’t just live Saul to wallow in confusion. No, our God is not the author of confusion. When He sends you, he wouldn’t leave you stranded. He makes provision to birth those dreams and visions he’s laid on the inside of you, he makes provision to take care of that prayer you said, he makes provision so that the lines fall into pleasant places for your sake and all things begin to work together for your good. God didn’t just leave him without hope, He gave him a vision and something to hope for “a recovery of sight.” vs 6 “Arise and go into the city, it shall be told thee what thou must do.  As Paul opened his eyes, he could not see anything, he waited for 3 days without food or water. I have a question for you today; Are you still waiting on the Lord? Or have you given up waiting? You might still be in that job though you feel unappreciated, still be waiting on that Child of yours for a change, still be on that marriage or relationship though its turned sour, still be waiting on that phone call though you’ve been disappointed many times before, still be waiting on the contract, still be waiting on a break through to free you from addictions, still be waiting on healing though your body is telling you a different story… you might still be waiting on Gods promise, waiting for a divine intervention. And this time, I encourage you to make a decision that nothing can deterr your faith, not even the pain, not the sourness of the relationship, not the disappointments, because the revelation the Gods testimony in your heart is way higher than any distractions that might come your way. This time, you are more focused, you have your eyes set on Jesus, the One who can do all things.

God arranged for Ananias to come lay his hands-on Paul. Paul didn’t go looking for Ananias everywhere. He only obeyed the voice of God, which led him not to Ananias but to a place of waiting. God wants you to know that He is capable of meeting you exactly at your place of waiting. It is not his intentions that you get stressed out looking for solutions here and there. He wants you to wait on Him, trust in Him and He shall direct you, He shall meet you at the very point of your needs (Philippians 4.19, proverbs 3,5-6).

So, what happened after Saul regained his sight? Acts 9:26 tells us of how he tried to fellowship with the disciples, how he told them about his testimony, but they were afraid of him and didn’t believe he was a disciple. It is not surprising that Saul’s past was trying to catch up with the new man he had become. His old self was pointing accusing fingers, trying to deny the fact that God had already begun a new thing in Saul’s life. It tried to tell him a lie that he was whom he no longer was. And the people who knew him from that time, people who had kept his track records, opposed and refused to acknowledge the fact that His testimony was changed. They failed to acknowledge the fact that God can turn even the worst of sinners to vessels of honour that would bring glory to His name. But did that defer Saul from insisting on whom he was? Not at all. He knew that the testimony he now had of himself was not of himself but of God of him.

It must be difficult to always want to get approval  and convince others of whom you say you are, to always want to explain things so that others might get you, to always want to be understood so that people might accept you. But today God wants you to know that He is testifying on your behalf, you don’t need to convince anyone that you are a different person now, you don’t need to seek people’s approval to go after that which God has placed in you, you don’t need people to “get” you. You are already approved by the Holy Ghost, you weren’t created a mistake, God had and still has a plan for you which he has set in motion regardless of what your environment, others think or say. I wonder how uncomfortable it must have been for Saul to dwell in the midst of those you didn’t believe in him, those who disregarded him, those who didn’t count him worthy, those who thought of him as less. Acts 13:2 says “After they (the prophets, teachers, members of the church) ministered to the Lord and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them.” Bear in mind that the Holy Ghost not only testified of him, but exalted him, in that he was called separately from amongst the rest. The Holy Ghost also didn’t address him as Paul, but as Saul. And I wonder why, right? God signified that he is acquainted with all your weakness, He doesn’t want you to dwell in self-judgement but to see your short comings as a channel by which He met and changed you, He wants you to know that it could only have been Him who has set you on your high pillars, He wants you to know that He choose you not because you were perfect but because you are the perfect one for the job, He knows all your faults, he knows your shortcomings, brokenness, shame, disparities, but in it all, he has used that forbidden name, that thing you thought was the very doom of your existence and turned into a rare gem, to make your life beautiful and to glorify His name in you.

So, my beloved in the Lord, I encourage you to open your hearts to God and ask the holy spirit to fill your testimonies, so that the things you say of yourself and the ways you perceive yourself will reflect the way God sees and speaks of you. And I pray the Lord Jesus will set your minds free from every bondage and lift you up from all miry clays. In Jesus Name, Amen!!




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