Have you ever been in a situation or a season of your life where all you felt like doing was hide? Well, you are not alone. I’ve been there multiple times before- Helplessly watching life slip off my father as he laid on the hospital bed, couple of years ago, was one powerlessly pain staking experience I had to go through. The doctor said the cancer had eaten deep into his lungs and we all just waited for a miracle or for him to die. I could barely recognise Him anymore- if you’ve ever been with a cancer patient at the later stage, you’ll understand what I mean. I prayed all I could, asked God for a miracle, even if it would be for the last time. And one faithful morning by 3.00 am at the university student hostel, I got a call from my mum- I knew with before the words echoed “your father is dead.” A cold chill engulfed me, I cried in my heart- the first time I’d ever experience truly crying inside. I left my room, went out the house premise, and quietly sat at a corner behind the house, sobbing all along. I was by myself, there was no one to comfort me- no comfort would’ve eased the pain; It was my time to grieve. Fear laid hold of me, the fear of seeing sometime that was full of life transform into something without live. Gradually, my heart became hardened, I wasn’t afraid to die or even cared about living. I became like stoned, couldn’t feel a thing, my tear bag had been exhausted, couldn’t even shade tears anymore. So, I decided to hide away in my grieve. Hide away from God because he let my father die, hide away from the church because they reminded me of God as i no longer felt the joy of worship, hide away from people because no one understood or comforted me, hide away from myself because i did nothing to help my father- I wasn’t even by his bed side to say a final goodbye. The more I hid in grieve, the more grieved I was and with time I could barely recognise myself, I had changed into someone or something that was now out of my control. In that situation, I could be likened to an egg that rolled away from underneath the mother hen, into an open field, unprotected, vulnerable and ready to be crushed any moment by the feet of adversities. But the voice of God came to me. His voice in my heart contradicted everything that I had set my mind upon. Gradually I started to seek God again, I realised the problem was that I was hiding From Whom I was to be hiding In. i desperately needed God to change my stony heart to a heart filled with His love. the more I reached out to Him, the more He was found by me. One thing I understood later was that God never abandoned me, in fact, He’s been walking with me all this while and felt my pain as well; like a parent would patiently walk with a young child, walking according to the pace of that child, never too fast or too slow. And sometimes the child may fall, but it is without doubt that the parent feels the hurt of that child and would always encourage the child to get back up- either by words, pulling the child up or both. Now for some children it takes much more effort to stand back up on their feet- they might want to cry a little longer; for others, I get right back up. I fitted mostly into the first category. When Gods love spread abroad in my heart, I came to the understanding that I didn’t need to hide from anything, all I needed was to dwell in the secret place of the Most High, where grieve and pain had no power to operate, where the peace of God healed and refreshed me on every side.
Genesis 3:9-10 “God called out to Adam saying- where art thou? And Adam replied; I heard thy voice in the garden and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” Adam was hiding away from God, and to hide away from God is to hide away from life. His nakedness brought him shame and he felt unworthy to stand before God, because he had disobeyed Him. I wonder what nakedness is making you hide away from God and what it is you are hiding behind. I wonder the voice you are listening to, those voices saying you are beneath what God had made you to be, that you don’t have what it take s to get through that life, that love will never find you, that you will never fulfil destiny. In verse 11 of same chapter God says to Adam “who told you that thou were naked?” in the same way God is telling you; who told you that you don’t have what it takes? Who told you that you didn’t matter? Who told you that you were poor? Whose voice have you been listening to? Christ is the voice that gives you life, but He does that by being the voice that informs your soul. When God looks upon you, He sees the wonderful handiwork He’s created, He sees his image in you. and when you are feeling ashamed, He takes away your shame so that you can boldly walk in your nakedness without being ashamed. Romans 5:3-5 says “we glory in tribulations also knowing that tribulations worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Christ on the cross of Calvary, has taken away your shame, pain, and whatever it is that is making you to hide and nailed it to the cross, so that you, being filled with Gods love can walk in freedom and boldness in all surety, knowing that God is above all things and He is faithful never to let you be put to shame. So, don’t give up, God hasn’t given up on you. let him refine your weaknesses in his strength, and you’ll emerge stronger and victorious in His name!
LET US PRAY
Thank you Lord Jesus, because you have taken away our pain, sorrow, shame, guilt, etc nailing it on the cross you said “it is finished.” Let your voice be the only voice we hear and obey, just as you said in John 10:5 “and a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him, for they know not the voice pf strangers.” Today, we choose to listen to your voice, even as your love sets us free from every fear, Amen!